Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
mondays should just be called national damage control day
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
