she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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