we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
