I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
