i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
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