3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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