Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
