I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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