Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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