Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
