I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
