another moral hangover. fuck.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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