I'm really into asian looking animals
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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