His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
