so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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