Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm both gender and math confused
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
