oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
