Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
