She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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