I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
