um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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