long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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