We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just blew my weed a kiss
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
