You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
