There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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