and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
