Just fell off a train. Bad.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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