i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
