hell yes lets make some ravioli
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
