I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
