is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
