Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
