no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
