oh god the rape fog is back!
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
