I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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