Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
