Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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