We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
