just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
where does the pee come out of this thing
time to smoke my breakfast
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
