he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
