I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
