tonight lets celebrate not being married
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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