I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
