I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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