She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
