K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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