hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
