the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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