i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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