Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize