apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
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