dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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