Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
