My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
