I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I need a beard to bite.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
