pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
